“Python meets Predator…F***King Brilliant !”

Irvine Welsh (TRAINSPOTTING)

 

ONE LINE SYNOPSIS

Carry On meets Grindhouse.  Predator meets Porkies. 

 

THREE LINE SYNOPSIS.

Set deep in dark mythical English woods Stagknight presents “The Weekend Warriors” paintball team on a blow out bachelor paintball weekender bender of dirty tricks, hot babes and truly splatter-tastic medieval kills to die for!

 

  

F a c t  S h e e t

Title:                                       Stagknight.

Writer:                                    Simon Cathcart & Rob Mercer

Director:                                 Simon Cathcart

Producer:                               Simon Cathcart & Rob Mercer      

Country:                                 UK

Release Date:                        2006

Genre:                                    Comedy / Horror

Length:                                   81 Minutes

Format:                                   HD

Key Cast:                               Sandra Dickinson (hitchhickers). 

Jocelyn Osorio and Danielle Mason

Year of Production:               2006/7

 

 

 

FULL STAGKNIGHT SYNOPSIS

    
Groom takes a last look.  Drinks are served.                Meet the G.I.L.F

Ever wondered what the ultimate stagknight would be for your best buddy?  One you carefully designed for him and for you too?  Imagine it goes wrong in a dark satirical pythonesque way but remains true to retro sleazy grindhouse horror all bundled up with a team of loveable, losers out to settle old scores and a dark British legend that has survived for over a fifteen hundred years until now.  You can’t right that’s too stupid.  It get’s better.

    

Sandra Dickenson as FAY                       Martin Bayfield as WILLIAM

 

Cruising straight for “Mordred’s Keep” is Brian Seamen and his long estranged paintball team.  For him it was to be the perfect stag night, all he could imagine.  His beloved “Weekend Warriors” are back on the bus after five years and up for one last mission…But Happy Valley Paintball Park has something waiting for them and it ain’t all that happy…Coolly welcomed by the low and slow Fay Morgan and her mute giant little brother William.  Brian and his pal Santos wander deep in the woods on a man to man preamble and stumble upon a genuine satanic Knights Templar monk ritual.  The monks summon Prince Mordred’s huge dark Guardian Knight to purge those who seek the cross.

    

DEATH                                    TOILET                          TITS.

Brian is captured tied up in black wrestling bondage gear and abandoned by his buddies masquerading as the Knights Templar monks and left out in the woods to find his own way back.  Unfortunately an uninvited guest does arrive.  In the cabin the guys get completely trashed in spectacular style, sex, drugs (laxatives in Brian’s case) and booze flows freely until tempers flash beyond control.  The boys decide that a night game will have settle old scores.

 

And what Stagknight would be complete without ultra hot babes!  Rising star Jocelyn Osorio plays the beautiful heroine ‘Blossom’ and gorgeous Danielle Mason plays the hilariously filthy stripper “Ginger” two girls who’d make any stag night complete.  Sandra Dickinson (Hitch-hickers guide to Galaxy) plays the evil hag owner Fay.

       

Tooled up and ready to hit the woods, what they don’t know is there’s a new player in the game, a big, fast, badass one who won’t stop until its game over.  Forget Jason, forget Freddy, come party with the newest old bad boy around!

 

Simon Cathcart Writer Producer Director Stagknight set 2006.